Wedding on A Budget - The Next Steps to Being Happy on That Special Day

Hopefully you breezed through the first 6 steps to making the big day happen. (Note: If this is your first time reading the blog, go back and read the first six steps because starting from middle is a waste of time and you will miss something).

Oh, and if you hire a wedding planner, you'll probably get to skip about 5 or so steps, but no matter how much you pay them, YOU are the one that's gonna have to STILL deal with tough decisions, family drama, mishaps, and issues.  

Today's entry is going to focus on the next few steps and hopefully put your mind at ease about a few things to avoid and deal with long before your day comes. 

#7: Delegation Will Save You Time, Sweat, Tears, and Stress

Hopefully you still have continued your relationships with your friends, homies, buddies, and dawgs throughout your courtship. This is something I sometimes wish I could redo just because when I met my "honey bunny", I instantly, like many women, gave all of myself to building our relationship and hanging out with my girls just didn't happen as often. The balance between friends and that significant other is often difficult for social people like myself, just because you have to devote a lot of time into your relationship to see if its "meant to be" and whether or not it is progressing to where you hope it is. 

My advice is to have fun with your sweetheart, but don't forget about the people who were in your life long before you met. These are those who will be there for you long after the wedding day when you need it the most. They will also be the ones you can count on to make your dream day happen as they most likely know what you want and they genuinely want you to be happy in this new direction life has take you. 

Two amazing people I am so blessed to have in my life are my girls Kaulana and Abbie. They helped move me out of my dorm room and into our new apartment, picked up my flowers, worked all hours of the night to make sure the all would be done on time, and threw my surprise Bridal Shower. Every bride needs friends like these to truly be able to smile on her day and know it'll all work out. 

So make 2 lists:

     List A: Friends You Can Count On to Help

     List B: Friends You HOPE You Can Count on to Help

Be honest with yourself. Don't show this list to anyone, but just having it will help you know the difference and determine who to ask to help you, say, man the kitchen and the friend you assign to tie your groom's shoes when you can't do it in your overflowing layers of dress. Different levels of importance, different levels of outcome is you find out they can't do it at the last minute.

I asked my husband who he was going to have help set-up the place. He told me not to worry about it. Ladies, when you hear that, you NEED to have a backup plan. When your groom-to-be says "Don't Worry", that means that he's probably going to forget about it and then when you get that disappointed look on your face, it will automatically reenter his mind and he'll remember - when it's too late.

So when he said that that, I smiled, got on Facebook, and asked our co-workers to be there. They showed up in full force despite the fact that it was the last day of finals. Asking co-workers to help out is a great idea because you already know how eachother works, so you'll be able to get the faster working people to do certain things while the more detailed-oriented and common sense-impaired can hang up the "No Smoking" signs and easy stuff like that. 

Bottom line is no matter who or how many people show up, you'll have a more fun time (like we did) if you work with people you know and have what you want in mind so that you get the job done.

#8: Find a Friend to Take Your Engagement Photos
Time to talk to friends and family and see who knows how to use a camera - especially how to use it for free. I have learned that yes, photographers gotta make money just like everybody else, but some of those hot-shot companies charge waayy too much, especially for college students just wanting one or two nice photos. 

My homegirl from the mission Vika introduced me to her roommate Alma who is just a camera goddess. We met her at 5pm just as the sun was about to set, walked over to the site, and just had fun. It's useful to have some poses in mind and just try out anything that comes to mind. Candid are my favorite. Make sure your honey gets a haircut and that his clothes match yours and you'll be good to go. We printed 4x6 photos from Costco.com and even used our engagement pictures to decorate the tables at our wedding. Be resourceful - everyone will love it!     

#9: Ordering and Making Invites - The Real Kind

Invites set the tone of your whole wedding.  If they're late and arrive a week before the event (or, heaven forbid, AFTER the event), you're sending out the message that you're not taking this day too seriously and so neither should they. The color of the invite, the picture you decide to include, the way you address people on the invite ("Auntie Mary, Uncle Bolo and Kids" vs. "Mr. and Mrs. Kawahine"), even the type of stamp you choose speaks volumes (Mickey Mouse vs. Wedding Rings of Flowers). 


Then again, you don't need to spend a fortune, buy the little RSVP cards, hand tie each one with an identical ribbon, take a calligraphy class to perfectly scribe each  name, etc. Think twice about mass e-mailing out an electronic invite or scanning one to facebook.. it's kinda impersonal and tacky. Some things should just stay traditional and if you don't have the funds to make enough of the "fancy" invites, you can color copy some to give to your friends and drive it over to their place to save on stamps. 

We ordered our invites from 123print.com. We spent $103.95 for 250 invites on recycled card stock. The order came with free envelopes, and we ordered the matching address labels for $10.95. Everything was shipped for free and arrived in Hawaii about 4 days after the order was made. I was super happy with the quality of the order and they had so much selection that I was able to find one that went with our peacock theme (see step #5). The only thing I would have done differently is order about 100 more so I wouldn't have to reorder like I did.   


#10: Decorating - Get Someone Who Knows What They're Doing
If you're like me, you have a hard time letting other people do things you think you can do yourself. For most things in life, you probably can. On your wedding day, though, YOU CAN'T, so ask someone you trust to take over something as important as decorating. 

About 3 months before my wedding, I was thinking that I was going to be able to order the decor, glue and tape everything together, and make it happen. Lucky thing I ran into my long time friend Regina at work who asked me how my wedding prep was going, could tell I was already getting burnt out, and who grew to be my go-to girl. She asked me what my vision was, and it took some time to bounce off ideas that we thought would both look nice and be within my budget (about $1,000 for all the decor for 400 people. FYI that's not a lot, but Regina knew how to make it work). When she was in town, she would text me photos and prices of different items, and would be dead honest with me when she thought my ideas were kind-of out there. 

We went from ideas like spay painting little trees to put on the tables to cute water glasses filled with gel-balls, waterproof LED lights, peacock feathers, and handmade satin flowers. Regina was a saving grace who had her YW girls come over to help, worked with my homie Abbie late into many evenings, and became an even closer friend throughout the whole process.

In addition to Regina, Hiro was another life saver I met through a mutual friend when they heard I was stressing out a few months before my special day. Hiro also had a lot of experience decorating weddings, and I knew his style was very creative and beautiful. I ended up asking Hiro to be in charge of the head table and the entrance, wherewith he used just $80 to compliment all of Regina's work. He has since also done decorating for Disney's Aulani Resort as well as for an event involving the Samoan Head of State. Hiro's pieces later graced our apartment and were wonderful reminders of that special day. 

In a nutshell, do NOT pass up the opportunity to make new friends and connections during this whole process. Some of the people I grew close to during my wedding preparation are still among my most trusted and best friends. 

Word to the Wise: Please note there is a difference between making connections and using people, so as long as your intentions are good and you yourself do what you can to be part of the team, your wedding will be the bomb.com with as little drama as possible.

#11: Food, Drinks, and Desserts
Okay, get ready to make a dent in your savings when it comes to this step. In certain parts of the world, the food you serve at your wedding is more important than the ceremony, the dress, everything. In others, people are happy with potluck style or "finger foods". Be sure that you, your fiance, and your families are all on the same page when it comes to deciding where your food (and the expense it will bring) will fall on this ever-important scale. 

Start with the basics, like drinks. How many types and flavors of drinks are your going to serve? Are you going to need coolers with ice (PLEASE cover your coolers with a nice fabric or something instead of having those bright orange coolers take all the attention), which then is followed by the need for cups? Do you want to use soda cans? If you're inviting a lot of families with kids, perhaps punch bowls aren't the best idea. And remember, bottled water will bring on an addition 6 cent cost per bottle for recycling expenses. See how "basic" that decision was?

Do you want your family to have to shop for, prepare, cook, and serve the food? If some of your close aunties and uncles were to miss your marriage ceremony and maybe part (or all) of your reception because they are cooking, is that okay with you? Take into consideration who will serve your food, if anyone. These were things I dealt with at my graduation party and others and realized that for my wedding, I wanted everyone to enjoy it and relax since this was, in part, their special day to celebrate, too. 

So what did we do? We catered from one of our favorite restaurants, Panda Express. I had just so happened to give a tour at my workplace to the owner and CEO of this wonderful company, who hooked me up with a 30% discount (saved us about $1,500). See how you have to call around and use your resources? We then asked our family members to only bring one or two items each, which allowed them to showcase their culinary talents, keep cultural traditions, as well as add that special spark and flavor to our already amazing food line without having to worry about making everything. There was so much food that this was MOST of the items which were served (I can't remember everything - but everyone love it):
-Rice, Chow Mein, Fried Rice
-Beef Broccoli
-Orange Chicken
-Sweet and Sour Beef Stir Fry
-Honey Walnut Shrimp
-Baked Bananas with Coconut Milk
-Sweet Potatoes
-Watermelon
-Chocolate Marble Cake
-Fortune Cookies 


Catering is a life saver. Companies like Panda Express have done thousands of huge events and been successful at it, so take that into real consideration and don't have your wedding be the first time you ever try to feed more than 5 people at one time. Most caterers also provide warmers, serving utensils, etc. that can often be overlooked until they are needed on that day. 


Lastly, choose a person you trust to handle the kitchen responsibilities. They are the one whose name you give to the caterer so that you do not have to be present when the food comes in. They manage what dishes need to be replenished, if serving sizes need to be adjusted, and makes sure food isn't borrowed (aka stolen) from the kitchen while everyone is enjoying the party. No matter what you think, if no one is manning the kitchen, you will have the load of SUVs and trucks backing into the door near the kitchen area and loading up on their food storage before the party even gets started - enough said.

This person also has the ever-important job of ensuring there are enough people to clean up the kitchen area and distribute any extra food at the end of the night. We would like to thank the Taumoepeau Family for being the family who managed the kitchen with the help of my Auntie Faleola. Also, our supervisor Jimmy brought everybody straight from work to come help and serve, in addition to my then-Relief Society President Nana and the girls of the BYUH 17th Ward. You made the food happen, and thus, in the Polynesian way, made the wedding happen. 
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Alrighty then, I think this is enough info to keep you busy for a while. I hope I haven't scared you into thinking wedding planning on a budget is all work, no play. On the contrary, recognizing where you can save money and use your resources is a lot more fun then having a ridiculously rich relative just send you a check to pay for the whole sha-bang. Just saying. 


You're about halfway there. Most of the hard work is over, though I have a lot more pointers to ensure nothing goes unmentioned or forgotten. Until then, live aloha.


Leka